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  His hands were running along her thighs, stroking the soft skin, his lips following his fingers with small kisses. His cheek brushed her pussy and her musky scent of arousal drove him crazy. So did her little gasps of need. His patience had come to an end. It was time to satisfy them both.

  “Meredith,” he murmured. He flicked his tongue over her clit and then scraped it lightly with his teeth. She cried out with her release. The babbling stream of nonsense coming from her lips made him smile. The wriggling of her body nearly made him come.

  He’d grabbed onto her luscious hips and was ready to thrust to the hilt when he remembered protection. He’d never forgotten before. He groaned impatiently and stretched over her, reaching for the nightstand.

  “What?” she asked, still in a daze.

  “Condom.” He held up the packet he’d snagged from the drawer.

  “Let me.” She took it from him with a small smile and tore it open. He hissed as she spent several minutes stroking his throbbing cock before she rolled the condom over him. Her gentle touch threatened to push him over the edge. Her continued strokes after the condom was in place nearly sealed the deal.

  Sam grabbed her hands from his cock and kissed her fingers before he moved back into position. With her hips in his hands once again, he plunged into her welcoming body. Meredith’s cries echoed his own. She wrapped her legs around him and he let go of her hips to lie over her as he thrust into her over and over again.

  “That feels so good,” she said on a moan. She threw her arms around his shoulders. “Perfect.”

  “Perfect,” he agreed.

  He knew he wouldn’t last long. Not with her soft body cradling him, her arms and legs embracing him. Her inner flesh surrounded him and he swore he could feel every ridge of her channel stimulating him.

  The familiar tingle and tension hit him so fast he couldn’t have prolonged it even if he’d wanted to. He came with a roar, emptying himself as he was buried deep in her heated core. He held on tight as he rode out the orgasm and let her sweet body embrace him. When he could breathe normally again, he rained soft kisses over her face. “Meredith.”

  She just smiled and kissed him back.

  “Be right back,” he said, oddly reluctant to leave the bed, leave her, even for a moment. He ducked into the bathroom to take care of the condom. When he came back into the bedroom she rose up on one elbow to study him. His heart pounded. “Stay?” he asked. Her answer had become more important than he’d imagined.

  Her smile was bright. “Okay.”

  He smiled back. Her agreement made him as happy as he could ever remember, as if she’d just given him the greatest gift. He shut the lights off and joined her back in the bed. He pulled the covers up around them and gathered her into his arms. She snuggled close.

  “I had a great time tonight,” she murmured. Her head rested on his shoulder, her eyes already closing.

  “Me too.”

  Meredith fell asleep almost instantly but Sam didn’t fall asleep for a long time. He enjoyed holding her too much, enjoyed her sweet scent, the sound of her soft breathing. He hadn’t slept with a woman since he’d broken up with Tanya.

  He realized that after a year together, he hadn’t felt as comfortable with Tanya as he did with Meredith after just one evening. He hoped he’d started to put to rest her doubts about her size. She was sassy and self-confident so much of the time, he wanted her to love every part of herself. Just as he was beginning to do.

  He must have finally fallen asleep because he jumped when a noise woke him up. He couldn’t figure out what it was right away. Maybe a knock at his door?

  Meredith stirred beside him. They’d settled into a spooning position during the night. He was curled around her back, his hand cupping one of her breasts. His morning woody poked into her ass. He didn’t want to move.

  The knocking turned to pounding. What the hell?

  Then he heard Evan’s voice shout, “Come on, Sam, open up!”

  Fuck. He’d forgotten all about their golf date. Meredith rolled onto her back and blinked as she looked up at him. “I’ll get rid of him.” He kissed the top of her nose. “Be right back.”

  He grabbed a pair of boxers from his dresser and pulled them on. Evan pounded again. “Coming!” Sam yelled. He stumbled to the door and flung it open. “Quiet down, you’ll wake up the neighbors.”

  Evan walked in and closed the door behind him. “You didn’t answer your phone. I knew you wouldn’t have forgotten our golf date.”

  Sam winced. Was Evan extra loud this morning or had he had one too many drinks last night? One good look at the expression on his friend’s face and Sam realized it was Evan’s boasting voice.

  “Man, I am so glad I stood up that blind date last night! Instead of a gross fat girl, I hooked up with a real hottie at the country club.”

  “Shut up,” Sam growled. He hoped to hell Meredith couldn’t hear Evan. He grabbed his arm. “Get out of here. I’m not golfing today.”

  “What?” Evan took a look around them, saw Meredith’s shawl in the middle of the floor, her underwear and dress strewn around the room. Understanding sparked in his eyes and he sneered. “You did it, huh? So how was the pity fuck?”

  Chapter Five

  Pity fuck?

  Meredith scrambled out of bed, a chill running down her spine. She bent over and clutched her stomach as she hit the floor. Nausea rose up in her throat but she pushed it back down. She wouldn’t throw up. Not here. Not now.

  She knew it had been too good to be true. She’d known all along a hot guy like Sam wouldn’t really want someone like her. She tried to make sense of what she’d just heard. Somehow Sam had known about her blind date. It sounded as if he was talking to the guy who’d stood her up. She didn’t understand it but whatever had happened last night, one thing was clear.

  Sam had felt sorry for her.

  She’d been a pity fuck.

  Meredith blinked away the tears prickling her eyes. She never should have let down her guard. If this had been any other one-night stand, she could have walked away with a shrug of her shoulders. She could have eventually convinced herself she didn’t give a damn.

  But she’d let herself care for Sam. Let herself believe they had a chance at something more than a roll around this soft mattress. She should have known better.

  She searched frantically for her clothes, then realized they were flung all over the living room. How embarrassing. She grabbed the soft blue comforter off the bed and wrapped it around herself.

  The voices had gotten louder in the other room but she hadn’t paid attention to the words as her thoughts whirled through her brain. But now it sounded as if there was a scuffle going on out there. She peeked out of the doorway to see Sam clutching his hand to his chest and a short, balding guy with a bloody nose.

  “Fuck! What did you hit me for?”

  Sam shook his hand out, then grabbed a box of tissues from the table in the corner and handed it to him. “Take these and get out of here.”

  She must have made a noise because they both turned and stared at her.

  Sam took a step toward her. “Meredith.”

  She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I want my clothes.”

  He lifted his hands, palms up. “Sweetheart.”

  “I want my clothes,” she repeated dully.

  “This is going to stain my shirt,” the other guy whined. Blood had dripped from his nose onto his white golf shirt.

  Sam turned back to the guy with the bloody nose. “Get the hell out of here, Evan.”

  “And you called me an asshole?” Evan clutched the box of tissues and slammed the door on his way out.

  Sam turned back to Meredith, a guarded look on his face.

  She wanted so badly to scream and throw something. Or throw up. Instead, she took a deep breath and glared at him. “So that’s Evan?”

  He nodded.

  “The Evan who was supposed to be my date last night?”

 
He nodded again. “I’m sorry.”

  She stepped into the living room, clutching the comforter. Luckily it was big enough to cover her entire body, the rest trailing along behind her. “He’s a friend of yours?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “So did you actually have a blind date who stood you up last night?”

  He hesitated, then shook his head. “No. I was there with Evan.”

  “I see.” She frowned. “No, I guess I don’t see. Why were you there with him exactly?”

  He took a tentative step toward her. “Because he’s an asshole. Because he wanted me to check you out before he committed to the date.”

  She took a quick step back. “And you told him I was fat and he left me sitting there?” Her stomach twisted again.

  “No! I told him you were hot and sexy. That’s the truth, Meredith.” Sam closed his eyes for a moment. “He left the bar after he saw you.”

  “And you felt sorry for me.” That was even worse.

  “No. Well, I didn’t want you sitting there by yourself.”

  She nodded. “You felt sorry for me.”

  “I never thought of it like that.”

  She didn’t want to cry in front of him and she sure as hell didn’t want his pity. “I have to go now.”

  “Don’t go. Please believe me. I’ve wanted to ask you out for ages.” She could almost believe the desperation on his face. “I like you so much. I want to see you again.”

  “Well, we’ll be seeing each other at work every day and isn’t that going to be awkward? I knew it would be. That’s why we never should have done this.” She grabbed her underwear off the floor. She wished she could hide in the bathroom to get dressed but at this point, what did it matter? She sat down on the sofa, threw off the comforter and pulled on her panties.

  The heat in his gaze flared. “No. I’m not talking about seeing you at work. I want to see you after work. I want to see you in my bed again.”

  She wished she could believe him. “You’re a nice guy, Sam,” she said as she hooked her bra. “I appreciate you saying that, but I know it’s not true.”

  “What are you talking about? I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  She lifted a brow and stared him down like he’d done more than once to her the night before.

  “I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”

  Meredith slipped her dress on over her head. “I’m letting you off the hook, Sam. I don’t expect more than one night. I never did. You know that.” She turned her back to him. “Can you do me up?”

  He pulled up the zipper, then swept her hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck. “Sweetheart.”

  She pulled away from him, her heart aching. “Don’t call me that. Don’t even talk to me at the lab unless it’s about work. I can’t deal with it.” She couldn’t imagine the days to come, when she’d be teased with the sight of him, the scent of him and the memories of the love they made. Correction, the pity fuck. She grabbed her shoes and shoved her feet into them.

  “I’m sorry I lied about why I was at the bar last night.” He sounded sincere but then, so had he the night before. “But I swear, that’s the only thing I lied about.”

  She nodded. He was too nice to say anything else.

  “Will you give me another chance? I had a great time with you last night. I want to spend more time with you. Don’t you want to see where this thing between us could go?”

  He might actually believe what he was saying right now but he wouldn’t for long. She’d been hurt too many times to risk it. Her heart would be smashed to tiny pieces and this time it might never recover.

  Meredith grabbed her purse. “No, Sam. I don’t.” She resisted the urge to kiss him. Instead she backed away from him, memorizing him, until she hit the door with her ass. She turned and walked out, knowing it was the only thing she could do.

  * * * * *

  Sam hadn’t slept more than a few scattered hours in the past week. He’d changed all the bedding, but he swore he could still smell Meredith’s scent all around him. And when he finally did drift off to sleep, she haunted his dreams, smiling that sweet smile, clasping him to her breast and opening her body for him, then pushing him away with unshed tears in her eyes.

  She haunted him all day long too. He’d tried to talk to her but after she blatantly ignored him time after time, he began to send his assistant whenever he had questions for her. He couldn’t stand to see the hurt she tried to hide from him.

  He hated that he’d ended up being another guy who’d lied to her. Another guy who gave her hope and then snatched it away. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t what he intended. It didn’t matter that he’d fallen hard and fast for her. He’d hurt her and that was all that mattered. But how did he convince her that he wasn’t lying to her now?

  Friday night, he waited for her as she left work. He stood at the edge of the parking lot and watched as she left the building with a group of coworkers. Her plain white lab coat hid her amazing body. The blank expression on her face hid the emotions he knew were roiling inside her.

  He stepped into her path. “Meredith.”

  She froze, her eyes wide and sad. “Sam. Don’t.”

  “I just want to talk. Give me a minute? Please?”

  “Are you okay?” one of the other women asked her.

  She turned to the woman with an obviously forced smile. “I’m fine. Go on home to your kids.”

  The woman nodded and headed away.

  Sam stood there and soaked in her closeness while the rest of the employees stepped around them, climbed into their cars and drove away.

  She crossed her arms in front of her. “What do you want, Sam?”

  “You,” he said, simply, truthfully.

  “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

  Sam never imagined he’d ever be begging but Meredith was worth it. “Can we start over? Have a real first date. No lies. Nothing between us.”

  “There’s already too much between us.”

  He took her hand. Her fingers were cold. “I miss you, sweetheart. I want to see you again. I know you believe me. I know you feel the same way.”

  She snatched her hand away. “I can’t, Sam. Okay? I just can’t.” She dashed across the parking lot and was gone before he realized what it was he saw in her eyes.

  It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t frustration.

  It was fear.

  Sam drove home, grabbed a pizza from the shop downstairs and carried it up to his apartment. Instead of eating it at his little table in the kitchen, he took it into the living room and sat on the floor the way he’d done with Meredith the previous weekend. What had that fear in her eyes meant? What was she afraid of? Who was she afraid of?

  He hadn’t come up with any answers after eating a couple slices of the pizza. The beer was bitter tonight. He surfed channel after channel on the TV, but finally turned it off in disgust. He tossed and turned in bed and then finally fell asleep in time to dream about Meredith.

  Her eyes wide as she talked about all those bad dates. The bravado in her voice. The I-don’t-care set to her jaw.

  Sam woke and sat up in bed, realizing she was afraid to believe him when he told her he wanted to see her again. Afraid to trust him and find out that trust had been misplaced. Afraid to care about him when, he was certain, she already did. She was afraid she’d be hurt once again.

  He jumped up, threw on some clothes and grabbed the pizza box. It was time to set her straight.

  * * * * *

  Meredith couldn’t sleep. Seeing Sam again had stirred up everything she’d been trying so hard to forget. Seeing him made her want to give in to him. Made her want to risk her heart again. But she knew how much more it would hurt when he left her for good. She’d never really cared for any of those other guys. Not like she did for Sam.

  She wandered her apartment, her aloneness, her loneliness, hitting her hard. She’d tried to convince herself that she was happy alone. That it was better to be lonely than risk being hurt
again. It wasn’t working tonight.

  She curled up in a corner of her sofa, a blanket wrapped around her. She’d been humiliated when she heard the things Evan had said about her. How could Sam blame her for feeling the way she did about her body when people like his friend were so vocal with their opinions of big women?

  But Sam had been nothing but complimentary about her body. Her bottom tingled as she remembered the spanking he’d given her. He’d actually been angry when she’d put herself down.

  Was she wrong about him? After the lies he told her when they met up that night, could she believe everything he’d said to her since then? Did she dare?

  A knock at her door made her jump and sent her heart racing. Who would be knocking at her door in the middle of the night? A stupid hope flared in her chest.

  “Meredith? Are you awake?”

  She flew to the door. It was Sam. She’d so wanted it to be him. She flung open the door to see him standing there looking sexy and hopeful and better than he’d ever looked before. He held a pizza box.

  “I don’t have anyone to share cold pizza with in the middle of the night,” he said with a small, hopeful grin. His jaw was shadowed more than normal and his jeans and sweatshirt looked as if they’d been slept in. “I saw your light. Hungry?”

  She backed away to let him in. “Starved.”

  He strode into the living room and set the pizza box down on the coffee table. Then he turned to look at her, still holding the door open. He lifted his brow. “Waiting for someone else?”

  She blushed, shut the door. Fell back against it. “No.”

  “Come here, sweetheart.”

  “I don’t know if I can.” She clutched the blanket tighter around her. “I’m scared, Sam.”

  “I know. I finally figured that out.” He crossed the room and took her hand. “You scared me too.”

  Meredith frowned, let him draw her over to the sofa. “How did I scare you?”

  He dropped her hand and sat down on the sofa. He looked up at her with that same exasperated expression he’d had before he pulled her over his knee and spanked her for talking badly about her size. Her pussy quivered. Her heart began to pound.